Posted by: Jim E | February 28, 2019

Jeremy: Memories, Pictures, Some Tears And Our Lives…

Tomorrow is March 1st…the month of March will always be a big deal in our lives…it will be two years ago March 19, 2017 that our Jeremy died…and as that date comes closer, we have to stop and take stock of just how Judie and I are doing…I guess we are doing fine…the “guess” is in there because sometime I don’t feel so fine…because along with the “fine” is the disclaimer that “never a day goes by that we don’t think of him and miss him…but I think that’s okay…we look at that as healthy…normal…

Sometimes in the middle of things, I just expect him to walk into the room and make some comment as he rolls through…we would laugh and trade jabs…as I read something the other day…he said even years after his teenage daughter died in a car accident…”It’s not as much fun without Melissa.”…and so it is with Jeremy…”it’s just not as much fun without Jeremy.”…and though there is still “laughter in the walls” of our home…we still miss him…heavens he was with us for 47 years…

Jeremy one of the last pictures013

This is the last picture we have of Jeremy before he went in the hospital for the last time…the picture says a lot…not just him physically, but his room…his bed, by this time had been lowered…the bed frame was just too high for him to climb into bed…so the box spring is directly on the floor…and even that was just a little high…and you can tell by his face, this was not the normal Jeremy…that bright eyed and bushy tail look was taken over by his condition by this time…but also notice his truck collection…well, part of it…a small part, the rest ran all around the room on a shelf, a bit higher than this picture shows…and in boxes and closets around the house…

A picture of Dr. Keller, who did his surgeries at Mayo Clinic, in Rochester, MN is in the background, and his blue shirt that says, Rebuilt in Rochester, is also framed next to Dr. Keller’s picture…his room was HIS room…he loved all the collections he had in that room…I also have the picture of Jeremy and Dr. Keller in his office at Mayo…he has the “blue shirt” on and next to Dr. Keller…the same one in the picture above…

His collection of cars and trucks is gone…it took us a little while to decide what to do with it…we talked about selling it online, or giving it to Children’s Hospital…and also it took time to decide…was it okay to get rid of it…Oh, we knew we couldn’t keep it, for what reason would we do so, other than to remind us of Jeremy…and we have 47 years of memories that will take care of that…so we decided we needed to do something Jeremy would want…he wouldn’t want to “make money” off them…he would want them to go to someone who would enjoy them…so after long thinking about it, we decided to allow our Kids, Grandkids, and Great Grandkids to have some if they would like…I mean Jeremy had thousands of cars and trucks…no one would want all of them…

A few went to neighbors and friends…but the bulk, we decided would go to groups that worked with kids…and also many would go to Samaritan’s Purse Shoe Boxes, at Christmas time, and also to a church food shelf/gift program…no matter where they ended up we felt those kids would be happy with that gift…and we knew Jeremy would be pleased…he was a giver…and the joy of seeing his cars and trucks going to kids would have pleased him…his collection was pristine…brand new, so to speak…except for the few he loved to “get out” and look at and play with like below…

Jeremy on porch with trucks 2016

So as you can see we are walking through these memories carefully and not making snap decisions…but ones that Jeremy would want…so as March 19th comes closer we will do what we did last year…Judie and I went down to the cemetery to visit where he is buried…we know he is not there…we know he was ushered into heaven that moment he died…but it does give some bit of comfort to go there…last year Jared and Marisa, and Marla, Jared Jr. and Laura went along…a few tears and lots of memories…

Jeremy's one year visit, mom and dad

Time may dull the ache of missing Jeremy, but nothing takes the pain away completely…but we chose to enjoy everyday and live with his memory as a gift, as he was to us when he was alive…We will never regret the decision we made so many years ago…in answer to the question put to us at the time: “Who else will love our son like we would???”…the answer was easy, Jeremy made it so…we are thankful…

Jeremy, Mom and Dad025

A picture I have never shared before, I don’t think…it must have been just after he made one of his famous humorous remarks…we all remember those…some comment about what just happened…and his cute smile after the comment landed…who knows what it was, but these enjoyable moments will live on until we see him again…what a time that will be…

It was in early grade school that Jeremy made an art project…he had to choose a word…and then make an art project that was assigned…it is up in my office, I’m looking at it now…it is almost 50 years old…it has been in my office at work and in our home since he made it…it give me great comfort…and tells Judie and I what we already have…not only comfort, but real JOY…in remembering and honoring Jeremy…

Jeremy's JOY wall hanging


Responses

  1. Loved reading your story. Can tell he brought so much joy to your lives.

    • Sharon…thanks, yes Jeremy was special…you saw him at Jack’s funeral in Minnesota just a couple of weeks before he died…he was pretty good that day…though we had to watch him close…but he so enjoyed going on that road trip…Uncle Jack was special to him…he talked of him all the time…Jack would come into Cub Foods, where Jeremy worked in Andover…Jeremy would come home and tell his Uncle Jack stories…and Jeremy would tell them many times, years after…a special relationship…thanks again…Jim

  2. Hi Jim! I’m so glad to see your post. I think of you & Judie often, and wonder how you’re doing. My Dad just passed away 6 weeks ago, so I completely understand the “dilemma” of what do do with his things, what do we want to keep, who should take his other things, where to donate, etc. It’s so hard because you can’t hold onto everything, but you want to honor him by donating to places/causes that he would love. It’s hard to grieve yet celebrate at the same time. Dad’s birthday was exactly 4 weeks after his passing so that was a mixed basket of emotions. Your Jeremy passed away on my sister’s birthday, so as we celebrate her birthday, I’ll be remembering Jeremy. Sending hugs to you & Judie from Cincinnati, as I know this is a difficult month for you. Take care, Julie

    • Julie…thanks…so sorry for your loss…I know how hard that must have been…and it is difficult to make those decisions, wanting to “do right” by the loved one…even writing about Jeremy makes it easier…so we are doing fine…living life everyday…and along the way Jeremy’s memories keep us laughing and remembering all who he was to us…it’s all part of losing someone you love…so thanks again…your thoughts are appreciated…and love to hear how you are doing…Jim E


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