Posted by: Jim E | July 25, 2017

With Jeremy…There Was Always Hope…In The End, It Was The Same…

Death, as I stated in an earlier post, is always a surprise…some may wonder what I meant, other’s may disagree…but it just seems that way to me…I have seen, in my 75 years, enough death to see it that way…and with Jeremy’s death, it was certainly a surprise…we were not expecting it…oh, we saw him going down hill, but with Jeremy there always seemed to be hope…he exuded it, he believed it…heavens, he convinced us…that with him, there would always be hope…and even in the last hours of his life, we had hope…that he would be home the next day, with lots of hard things to deal with, but there was that hope, he was coming home…Jeremy, Mom and Dad 40th birthday

It has seemed to me that even people who we expect to die soon…and maybe we may expect it at anytime…yet when death does come, it is at its own timing…death is always a surprise…

And the reaction to death is as varied as the person who passed away…and the people who are effected by the death…I just read a story of Sgt. James Hubert, who shipped off to the Pacific Theater, in WWII…he was 17 when he enlisted…he was killed during the Battle of Tarawa, on November 21, 1943…they could not recover his body, for various reasons…he was buried on the island of Betio…but was listed as unrecoverable…he was buried in a trench with about 40 other bodies…and it wasn’t until recently they were discovered…and through DNA identification, he was named…the military funeral was held in Duluth, Minnesota, July 15, 2017…

Sgt. James Hubert 2

The quote I took away from that funeral, was from a family member…of course Sgt. Hubert’s parents had passed away, so they died never knowing that their 17 year old Marine son’s body was found…the family said, “For our Mother, it was a huge sorrow of her life. She never got to say goodbye.”

So what was it like on that Sunday morning of March 19, 2017?…and what is it like now…four months later…that morning I have described in previous posts, but did not deal with this part of things…I would like to add to that now…

Judie had stayed at the hospital Saturday night, she had stayed the two nights before as well…Jeremy had died somewhere around 3:30 that Sunday morning…they found him unresponsive when they came to check his vitals…Judie had seen him move about earlier…and had got up and kissed him and told Jeremy, “Mama is here. I love you.”…and Jeremy said, “I want to go home.”…clear as a bell, Judie said…and that was something for Jeremy, because he was hard to understand…but sometime after that he must have passed away, because the nurse came in right after…   

Jared, our number two son, had picked me up and when we got to the hospital…Marisa, Jared’s wife and Marla, Megan were also already there…later came Will and Jessica and our Great Granddaughter Madi…we all went to Jeremy’s room…on his door the hospital staff had put a dove on the door…we went into the room…I bent down and touch Jeremy, kissed him…he was already cold, I said, “He’s already in Heaven.”…we had our time together, Judie and I…and all who were there…I will add a picture…of a Mother, Judie, who has given all her adult life to her kids…and Jeremy in particular…you can see the toll of this time on her…she loves as all mothers love…and this was a hard thing…though as she said, she had perfect peace, even at that time…in the picture next to Judie is our Granddaughter Marla and Will and Madi…

Jeremy's room, Judie,Mom the morning of his death

We decided in the room that morning, that we would be celebrating Jeremy’s life in all the preparations and the funeral to come…we did that…we had a wonderful time together as a family…we remembered Jeremy in everything we did that week…and frankly, since that time…Jeremy remains on our minds and hearts…we know and have that hope that he is in heaven and we will see him someday…with Jeremy there was always hope…it remains the same today…there is a verse in I Thessalonians 4:13 “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.”…
this certainly give us the hope that has lead us through our lives…and has helped us through all of this…

So, I guess, hope is the theme of this post…Jeremy’s example of hope through his entire life, right to the end…and hope is what we have even after he is gone…

Before we moved to Little Rock, Arkansas, Jeremy worked at Cub Foods and also worked at Coon Rapids High School, helping supervise at games during the evening…he loved both…when he left Cub, he was at 3 weeks vacation, after 16 years…and at a good pay rate too…but when we came here and he got his job at Kroger, he started at the bottom…no vacation, almost at minimum pay…but he never complained, he was just happy to be working…always hope…I will add a picture of Jeremy and I…this was his “heyday”…before all his stokes and life draining effects of his radiation…in our Cardinal jackets…”struttin’ our stuff”…before we went to a game, me to watch, Jeremy to work…I thought that was only right…

Jeremy and Dad cardinal jackets 1990's049

For most of Jeremy’s life it was a great time…there were his many medical issues…but most of his life he enjoyed to the fullest…and had hope for tomorrow…for us now, we are trying to do the same…oh, we will never forget Jeremy…he is in our thoughts even today…many may not understand…why can’t you just “get on with your life”…well, you have to be in our shoes…we don’t really want it to all go away…we want to remember and celebrate Jeremy and his time with us for as long as we live…I don’t mean that in a morbid way…I mean that in an honoring, healthy way…he was special, and will always be in our lives until we see him again…

Corrie ten Boom wrote: “Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.”…we look forward to our future, it may be long or short, that we don’t know, but we want to be prepared for it…

I use a devotional every day called Our Daily Bread…on February 28, 2917, in part is this…the devotion started with how some want to extend human life indefinitely…then this:

“They are a little late. Death has already been defeated! Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die” (John 11:25–26). Jesus assures us that those who put their trust in Him will never, ever, under any circumstances whatever, die.

To be clear, our bodies will die—and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. But the thinking, reasoning, remembering, loving, adventuring part of us that we call “me, myself, and I” will never, ever die.

And here’s the best part: It’s a gift! All you have to do is receive the salvation Jesus offers. C. S. Lewis, musing on this notion, describes it as something like “a chuckle in the darkness”—the sense that something that simple is the answer.

Some say, “It’s too simple.” Well, I say, if God loved you even before you were born and wants you to live with Him forever, why would He make it hard?”

We have this hope…I titled this post…“With Jeremy…there was always hope…in the end it was the same”…we feel the same kind of hope that Jeremy always had, in good times and bad…we will see him again someday…But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.”…that is how we hope…full of the “thinking, reasoning, remembering, loving, adventuring part” of who Jeremy was and is…Jeremy 2011

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Responses

  1. Hi Jim, I was doing a little catching up on your blog . That’s when I read Jeremy had went to meet Jesus. I am so sorry for your loss. You are In my thoughts and prayers . Sending you and your wife a big hug  Saundra 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad

    • Hi Saun…it’s so good to hear from you…Judie and I were just talking about you and “The Ohio Group”, from the “Matt Green Days”…and how all of us connected somehow…thanks for your thoughts and prayers…Jeremy was truly something…we miss him everyday…I hope you have read “all” the posts about him…I think there are 8 or 9 of them, I lost count…but they give a view of Jeremy that only comes from parents who spent all his years right beside him…anyway, thanks for visiting, Judie thanks you too…enjoyed your hug…Jim E

  2. Thankyou for the beautiful memories of Jeremy! I’ve lost my oldest an youngest child an I can honestly tell you that I have the same hope in knowing that one day we will all be together again at the glorious REUNION with Jesus! Praise God! Dottie

    • Hi Dottie…thanks for the visit and the thoughts…we too hold out the hope for the future…to be together with Jeremy again…thanks again…Jim E

  3. Hi Jim, I love this post. You’re so right. There’s always hope. It may not seem that way, especially in the midst of a traumatic struggle, but in the end, there’s hope. And I know what you mean when some people may wonder why you can’t just get on with your life after the death of a child. Again, you’re right – unless you’ve walked in those shoes, you’ll never understand. As a Mommy of a sweet girl in Heaven, I understand. You can’t just “get on” with life. Sure, you keep breathing and moving forward with your daily life, but your child is always with you in heart and spirit. You never forget and you never just move on. Thank you so much for sharing these stories about Jeremy. And thank you for reminding me of hope. Take care, Julie

    • Hi Julie…thanks for the visit…so good to hear from you…we are going to continue to remember Jeremy as you do your daughter…it not only feels good to do that…it is good to do that…there is no way for us to go forward without remembering and celebrating Jeremy’s life…so that’s what we will do…live life fully, but remembering something that we can never forget…we live with this hope…thanks again…Jim E


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