Posted by: Jim E | March 6, 2010

A Cracking of the Heart…

A few weeks ago I finished reading “A Cracking of the Heart” by David Horowitz…it’s a book written about the early death of his daughter, Sarah…and his coming to some closure (which never can fully happen) with her death…going over their relationship and conflicts which arose over the years…most from political and familial conflicts…the book describes their slow coming to understanding one another…and to her death…

The book’s author is a famous 1960’s radical turned conservative author and speaker…it is written with Jewish references throughout…which drew me into it even more…I think I know why I am drawn that way but it still intrigues me that I am…even as I went to school with Jewish kids…I always had this love for all “things” Jewish…and this was no exception…Horowitz references his religious background as well as his daughter and the rest of his family…to me very interesting…I will not even try to give an overview…but a taste and some comments about its effect upon me…

His daughter died in March 2008 at the age of 44…she was born with Turner Syndrome…which included small stature, heart defects, hearing loss, numerous physical defects and handicaps…early death…but those, as in most people with handicaps, did not measure who she was and became…

As I have said many times, life is so much the same for us, in that…we all are born, we live and then we die…I know that sounds so cynical but I don’t mean it to be…I know how important “the in-between” is…as a Christian I know the importance of a relationship with Jesus Christ…so don’t let my thoughts about this book interfere with what I personally believe and how you look at my thoughts…

The book made me think about my relationships to my parents, my kids, my friends and acquaintances…how things said or done can separate us from one another…and many times takes a particular happening to break through to another dimension…he called it “a cracking of the heart”…it is a spiritual turning or repentance…not unlike what we must do to begin a relationship with God…or returning to a relationship with God…

I remember one time when my brothers, our wives and our parents got together for a barbecue at my brothers house…it was a good time, though stress was always there with my Dad present…we talked about all kinds of things…we knew we had to stay away from politics and religion (both I have particularly strong ideas about)…those topics lit a fire under my Dad…so we all knew better…but that day, for some reason, we slipped up and talked about politics…in the ensuing conversation…I said something I believed and thought I said it calmly (that would be hard for some to believe) but knowing me, it probably came out like dogma…

My Dad exploded…I don’t recall exactly what he said…though it referred to my being stupid and other such things…I had never heard him talk like that to me or anyone else, it was personal, demeaning and angry…(though keep in mind, alcohol was involved in this meal)…the subject quickly changed and I attributed this to alcohol consumption…everyone was shocked by the outburst…after we got home, the telephone rang…it was my Dad apologizing for what he had said…I assured him it was okay…all was forgiven…

Now some may say that was too easy…It was my fault in the first place or you shouldn’t have let him off so easy…but you see my Dad calling was a start of “a cracking of the heart”…(as he had never attacked like that before, he had never apologized either)…it allowed my Dad to repent…to experience a “turning around”…all of us had spent decades trying to have my Dad change…to turn around…but it took years of taking abuse of all kinds for me, Judie, kids and others…that led to a time, years later from this experience, when he could experience another “cracking of the heart”…a repentance that changed his life for the few years he had left…worth it?…it was hard…but I think so…

This then is the “in-between”…the time that we must “live” and though it is so much the same for all of us…the being born, living, and dying…yet the “in-between” is what we have left to “make a life” and make it count for something beyond ourselves…to make a difference for all time…

Advertisements

Responses

  1. If you are interested in all things Jewish, you might be interested in a book that I am almost finished reading. The author is a pilot out of Miami – Capt. Gary Kosak. Book name is “For Zion’s Sake – I Will Not Keep Silent” In it there are interviews with several Jews and what they have gone through from Russia, Hungary, etc. Very eye-opening even though we’ve heard through the years how the Jews have been treated. It’s put out by Xulon Press. (www.xulonpress.com)

  2. I like the idea of The Cracking of the Heart. You gave us some great thoughts to think about.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: